stuck and fuck. 

Flu bug is here. 
Sneezing. Block nose. Rubbing of nose every few seconds. Puffy eyes. 
And oh no.
Looks like Ms Specky is going to be in school later. 

I think my brain is still not functioning well for past few days. It's still not organized. So disorientated. There are like a couple of things to do but I just don't know how and where to start. Now, now, where is that emergency button that need to be activated?

Howell, weekend's over. 
It's the 27th week now since the year started. 
I do not wish to think I've overworked but then, where have my energy all went to?
I'm so tired.
I need more sleep. 
Even if I have to do it standing. 

Good.night.

I was on the phone with Dee when I was being random.
"Eh Dee, I saw this lady in baju kurung here in Clarke Quay!" 

No, I didnt say it was bad or didnt even mean to laugh but then it was just an instance reaction. Just because I was in my crazy mood. But both of us came up with the conclusion that it's Friday today and some Malays do wear their traditional costumes to work. It's never wrong to walk down to town or Clarke Quay area wearing that. It's public anyway. I really salute them for being able to walk down town or to Clarke Quay wearing the traditional costumes cause I don't think I'm able to do that. Not appropriate, to me that is la. Even if I do wear that to work and have to rush down to town, I'll prolly stuff extra clothing in my bag to change. 

Then while waiting for the bus to arrive, and still in a conversation with her, (the other gf busy with someone already mah)again, I was being random. 
"Eh Dee! I just saw someone on a bicycle wearing a helmet! Full face sak!"
From Japan eh Dee?Hahahahaha! 

Bile ni korang nak jumpe aku??!! Aku nak gift aku!!!!! Dah la gi KL tak bilang aku! Rabak ar korang!

And so my dearest Kak Lin is still in London. Come back quick!!!! 
Z's so bad! Was talking to him (I asked a favour from him about work related. He told you already? If havent go ask him. Or wait till you come back la.Haha! ) and he asked me if I'm with you. Jahat kan! So I disturbed him about you telling me how he kissed the ground at Old Trafford ar! And took many pictures and went totally crazy about it. And he went mad+paiseh+walao! Kurang asam nye Kak Lin. And I told him ar, "Well, Kak Lin is still my dearest remember?" Hahahaha! I didnt get to see you online leh. Must be busy kan Kak Lin? Never mind. Come next week, we go get our Churros ok? And mushroom chicken breast! *winks at luv*
Grabbers, nak join tak? 

Of my weekly/monthly addiction.




I was listening to the morning show at 98.7 this morning when they were talking about the soundtrack to our life: the goodbye song. Then there's this part where they mentioned isnt there any goodbye song which is happy? And one of the listeners replied, the barney's love song! 

Which I think it's true. How cute! 

Ok. I'm hyper. Must be the caffe mocha!

 And it's just so nice to walk down memory lane once again. 
With the same person. 
To the same place. 
The only difference is that we're one now. 

And you know I love you still.

As much as how I still think longer break is needed, I pretty much enjoyed the first day of term 3. I missed my children so much! Within a month, some grew taller, put on weight (you can really see their chubby cheeks mcm pao ayam! So geram!!) while some just came in with much confidence! Howell, school's back. So is Ms Fai. Hahaha And while I was just pretending to be crying cause this boy destroyed the stars I made for him out of playdough, Khushi came up to me,smiling away as she tilt her head and said, "Just make another one Ms Fairuz."
Ouch! She's so sweet that I just can't resist smiling away and thinking, goodness! May I have a child of my own of that kind eh? Haha
If having one means happiness and make you forget your problems, I would want to now, just without the man.  :)

Time really passes by very fast can? Cause I feel like it was just few months back I met Shiddique. But no. It was a year ago. Which means, 12 months back. 365 days before. And 4343048329443343939999 hours and seconds since our first date! And if it had not been for that message, I guess we're still out there not having our path crossed. Whatever memories that had been created, it is still fresh and juicy and simply b-e-a-u-tiful! Yes, we had our arguments already. And yes, frictions too. Wasn't that bad cause we both know at the end of the day, it's love that we feel and yes, the principles too. But of course, to understand him, it's just like playing Uno Stacko. You need patience and tactics to understand and problem solve. You know if you pull out the wrong piece of block, you're risking yourself for the stack might or might not fall. But you never know unless you try. And to try, you need courage and confidence. Likewise for Shiddique. I know there are certain things that are already in him and how his behaviour and characters are like but still, I choose to go ahead. And at times, I find myself not being able to understand why he still does certain things or why the need to but still, I hang on to it. I try to look in his point of view,or perhaps in general if I have to.  Maybe I'm just comforting myself, but I don't want to look at it that way. Reasoning I should say. Or maybe that's what understanding is all about. But nevertheless, I know ours is tough love, of course in our own context. 

So luv, shall we walk down memory lane just like how it's like a year ago, back on the 24th June 07?
Then can wear what we wore.
My red dress. You black top.
Let's revisit the place we went to. Vivo.
Can have my mocha and your green tea at Pacific Coffee.
But movie have to change ar.
Unless GV pon nak feeling2 walking down together to our memory lane ar and replay Hot Fuzz. Kental ar! There goes our Ocean's 13.
Then at night, we'll call Bob and Robby to come down,buy Long John Silver fish wrap.
Let's feeling2 ar!
Thank god you're not working tomorrow! 
YES! 
i.love.you.

 If there's one thing I learnt about human, it has got to be that women,they deal with/solve their problems with emotions,while men, they are more on the rationale. Yes, women can be very sensitive and emotional at times, but that's already in them. We may be weak for that but at the same time, we grow stronger, both emotionally and mentally. 

Sometimes, I can just be angry at myself. For not being able to help. Just the eyes that observe, the ears that listen and the heart that feels. It's only the senses that are working, and all I can hear is the voice within. 
"Listen. Watch. Smell. Feel their heartbeat if you have to.Hug them if assurance is what they can feel. Cry if it makes you feel better."

In times like this, it never fails to remind me, one's life is indeed a movie. What makes it different from the other one is that you get to be everything that a movie needs to be produced. Scriptwriter. Narrator. Actor. Simply everything.

My dear one told me this, "God will give you obstacles but, not obstacles you can never handle. Obstacles are His way of making you remember Him, making you know He is around."
That's why He sent you. Irregardless of place. And time. 

And I know I can handle this.
In calmness, we can think. In chaos, we fail.

I hate to make people wait and I hate to wait. 

URGH.

I beat the red light. 
I hurt my arm while skating just now. It's swelling now. I can't even bend it properly.
I bruised my bum.
I had a haircut again.
I'm hungry. 
One week of break is not enough.
I miss my lil rascals. 
Cinta Fitri is so addictive. But I'm not a big fan of it.
My laptop is sent in for servicing.
Hp's haywire.
I think I want attention. No. I'm in need of attention. 
Heh.

I think I'll just call it a night.

 Just because the service and the food served at delifrance at Paragon was very very bad, that gave me a very good reason to dine in at luv's working place. Just because I still want to eat something with cream sauce,cause apparently, I only eat 2 scoops of the seafood pasta as the cream sauce appeared very soupy. Feel cheated like that cause in the menu,it is so nice and mouth watering ar! And my cinnamon croissant was overheated that it was so crispy and so not nice! And Shiddique just had to cancel his order cause he's running late for work. Heh. Luckily they charged us lesser. Thanks to me. Gitu? :)

I still feel like a sore loser like that dining alone. Like I was the only customer in that place. But then,that was not my first time la and at least I don't give up halfway..kan Nurul? Hahahaha! So there was I sitting,while watching luv behind that glass panel,in his uniform, preparing the food, aduh! Cair banget sih gue! I fell in love with that guy all over again! Hahaha! Ok.ok. stop it already. But I can't help it la. Feeling2 like in a movie, where the girl's at the bar,trying to seduce the cute bartender like that, except that in my situation,he's not. Walao! This is so not me talking like this! 

Nevertheless, the food are great! I enjoyed my breast chicken and mushroom with the cream sauce.And of course my churros! Hahahaha! It's a pastry served with chocolate syrup. Sedap giler!! Ya, he still gave me 5 pieces knowing that I can only eat lesser than that. My stomach's not like yours la mister! Price wise, it's oklah, somewhat like fish&co. It's expected la in clarke quay's area. Oklah,it's worth the time eating alone while watching boyfriend working right in front of my eyes. :)

Ok enough for a quick one. Meeting kak lin in a while for a swim. 

Happy Sunday!!!!

ps: Hannah! It's so nice to see you!! Still the same old Hannah! And thanks for not shouting my name out loud hor! Hopefully ar we can go have the kind of meet up suggested by you eh! Hhahaha! Till another round of Starbucks bump!

After much planning and enthusiasm,it's just not going to happen.
And why is that?
Just because work comes first. 
We were looking forward.Really looking forward. 
Howell..shit la.
I need a break badly.


And because of that, I cancelled both of my tutoring yesterday cause I've lost the mood to teach. 
And to make it up for myself,self indulgence in retail therapy.
And I feel good, cause I had fun. But a little bit of guilt though.
oh.